I've been reading the works of the great Sumarian Scholar, Zacharia Shitkin, and his classic work, 'The Lords of the Ancient Enema.'
In it, Shitkin reveals the mysterious advancements of the Summarians, such as high colonics, stone bidets, and enormous colostomy bags.

Who were these ancient proctologists, and what was their interest in anal hygeine? How could they have produced the technology they possesed, unless they were helped by ancient astronauts? Alien beings, who, for whatever reasons, were obssessed with perfecting the anal probe?

Seen here is a picture of a Summarian King, screaming in pain, no doubt the result of an anal experiment gone horribly wrong. What can we learn from this ancient civilization, and what hope does it offer for the future of anal hygeine? Perhaps only time will tell.