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Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, the Age of J is coming! Those of you on the MV1 mailing lists may have heard of it already from me and Jason Snyder. It was supposed to start on February 15th, but, ultimately, it had no meaning. Well, it does have meaning, but not for another few weeks.
You see, the Age of J begins on March 4th. It is an age where this particular J will be seen either staggering around embarrassing the hell out of himself or sleeping in a ditch.
Yep, that's right, this American boy will legally be able to drink on the 4th of March!
This is the biggest birthday in my life since I was legally able to be forced to be put in a situation where I could die for my country. Now, not only can I die for my country, but I can be drunk off my ass while doing it.
What a way to go, brown bagged 40 in one hand, big ol' gun balzin' in the other, me screaming/sluring, "come get some you freakin' commie pinkos!!!!" Then, I take a swig of my tasty beverage, toss teh empty bottle to the ground, scream a really high-pitched girly scream, and pass out.
Ah, yes.
Truthfully, I'm not really all to excited about my birthday. Yeah, I'm 21. Yeah, I can legally drink. But, I don't really want to. I mean, I've drank before, and I like some of that stuff, but beer's nothing more than piss in a bottle and everything else is a little pricy. No, who's really looking forward to my birthday are all of my friends and co-workers. They've started a pool on how folks think I'll be drunk. It's a tie between depressing, apologizing, and giddy.
I've never been drunk, so this is a big event for folks I know. They see this clean cut conservative gentleman who they all think acts older than he really is. What they want to see is a 21 year old guy drunk as a skunk and hitting on potted shrubbery.
I'm afraid.
But, at least their friends. Sure I'll hear about how I stood on the bar and dropped my pants or almost hooked up with that gal who was really a guy, but only for a week or so. Then they'll let it slide 'cause I'll probably do something else really stupid for them to pick on me about. If not, well, I do enough stupid stuff sober so they'll find something.
But, yeah, March 4th, Age of J, be afraid. And none of this stupid "Twelve" stuff. Nope, unless it's "Twelve" ounces. Or a "Twelve" pack. We'll see.
Jason Kenney
2.9.00
