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Eitan Mayer

The names of most parshiot usually tell us very little about the content of the parasha. This week’s parasha raises this tendency to new heights: not only is the parasha not about the “Life of Sara,” it is in fact all about the death, burial, and replacement of Sara (in several different ways).

The parasha tells at great length of the search for a mate for Yitzchak, in fact telling the story twice, once from the perspective of the omniscient narrator and once in the words of Avraham’s servant as he describes his adventures to Rivka’s family. However, since this part of the parasha usually gets lots of play in divrei Torah and parasha analyses, and I am a parasha-contrarian, we will be taking a close look at a different, more neglected story in the parasha: the story of Avraham’s acquisition of a grave for Sara -- the Cave of Mahpela in Hevron.

This week’s parasha begins with the death of Sara. It is characteristic of Jewish tradition to turn death into life, to call this parasha “The Life of Sara” rather than “The Death of Sara.” Jewish tradition often refers to sad or evil things by their opposites:

Sara has dies; Avraham, seeking a grave in which to bury her, negotiates with the Bnei Het (Hittites) for a site. As you read the section, note the tremendous emphasis on the auditory -- hearing and listening:

BERESHIT 23:2-20 --

Sara died in Kiryat Arba, which is Hevron, in the Land of Cana’an. Avraham came to mourn for Sara and cry over her.

Avraham rose from before his dead and spoke to the children of Het, saying, “I am a stranger and temporary dweller among you; give me a holding of a grave [’ahuzat kever’] among you, and I will bury my dead from before me.”

The children of Het answered Avraham, saying to him: “LISTEN TO US, master: you are a prince of God among us! Bury your dead in the choicest of our graves! Not one of us will withhold his grave from you, for you to bury your dead.”

Avraham rose and bowed to the people of the land, the children of Het. He spoke with them, saying, “If you really wish to [assist me in] bury[ing] my dead from before me, LISTEN TO ME, and let me meet with Efron, son of Tzohar; let him give to me the Cave of Mahpela which is his, which is at the end of his field; let him give it to me for full payment among you, as a holding of a grave [’ahuzat kever’].”

Efron lived among the children of Het. Efron the Hiti answered Avraham IN THE HEARING of the children of Het, before all of the people in the gate of the city, saying, “No, master, LISTEN TO ME -- the field, I have given it to you, and the cave in it, to you I have given it! In the sight of the children of my nation I have given it to you; bury your dead!”

Avraham bowed to the people of the land. He spoke to Efron IN THE HEARING of the people of the land, saying, “But if you would only LISTEN TO ME, I have given the payment for the field -- take it from me, and I will bury my dead there.”

Efron answered Avraham, saying to him, “Master, LISTEN TO ME -- what is a land of four hundred shekels of silver between me and you? Bury your dead!”

Avraham LISTENED to Efron, and Avraham weighed for Efron the money he had spoken of IN THE HEARING of the children of Het -- four hundred shekels of silver, acceptable to a merchant. The field of Efron, which was in Mahpela, before Mamre -- the field, and the cave in it, and all the trees of the field, in all its perimeter around -- arose to Avraham as a purchase, in sight of the children of Het, with all the people in the gate of the city. After this, Avraham buried Sara, his wife, in the cave of the field of Mahpela, before Mamre, which is Hevron, in the Land of Cana’an. The field and the cave in it arose to Avraham as a holding of a grave [’ahuzat kaver’], from the children of Het.

As usual, a significant word or phrase should jump out at us: “LISTEN TO ME” [”shema’eini”]. Except for the first time Avraham speaks, this word appears in *every* other instance in which someone speaks: pesukim (verses) 6, 8, 11, 12, 15, and 16. The Bnei Het say, “If you would only listen to us . . .”; Avraham responds by arguing his position and saying, “If you would only listen to me . . .”, and so on.

When people are not just arguing, but keep insisting “If you would only listen to me!”, it is clear that the parties are firm in their positions and unwilling to give in. “If you would only listen to me” means “Your proposal is unacceptable.” If it’s true that the two sides really are firm in their positions, what are their positions? What is the disagreement about in these negotiations? From a simple reading of the text, it appears that there is no disagreement at all! Avraham wants a place to bury Sara, and the Bnei Het generously offer him a place! Perhaps there is some disagreement over the money: Avraham wants to pay for a grave, while the Bnei Het want to give him one for free. But this only begs the question: why indeed does Avraham insist on paying for the grave? For now, let us hold this question.

The next point of disagreement is less obvious than the disagreement about the money: Avraham apparently wants one type of grave, but the Bnei Het subtly refuse and offer only a different type of grave: Avraham repeatedly requests an “AHUZAT kever,” “a HOLDING of a grave,” while the Bnei Het offer only a “kever.” Avraham, it seems, wants his *own* burial ground, a permanent possession -- a “*holding* of a grave,” an “ahuza”-- but the Bnei Het instead offer him only a *space* within one of their own burial grounds: “Bury your dead in the choicest of *our* graves.” Their generous offer of a space withing their own burial grounds is actually a refusal of Avraham’s request to acquire his own private burial ground. Avraham responds by insisting on an “ahuzat kaver”; he is not interested in a space in one of the Hittite gravesites.

This leads us to the next disagreement: what does Avraham say he wants to buy from Efron, and what does Efron want to give him? In pasuk 9, Avraham states clearly that he wants the cave at the edge of the field. But in pasuk 11, Efron says he will give him the cave *and* the field! In pasuk 13, Avraham ‘gives in’ on this point and agrees to take the cave along with the field. And in pasuk 16, Avraham seems to capitulate again: the “If you would only listen to me!” pattern ends with an apparent victory by Efron, instead of another “Would you listen to me!”, we hear that “Avraham listened to Efron.” In this great struggle to be “heard,” Avraham happarently accepted Efron’s terms -- Efron has been “heard,” Avraham has capitulated.

To summarize, 3 different issues seem to divide Avraham and the Bnei Het:

What is Avraham really after? Why is it so important to him to get a private gravesite for Sara? Why doesn’t he accept the generosity of the Bnei Het when they offer him a grave for Sara among their best graves? And why does he so stubbornly insist on paying for the grave? Why not accept a free grave?

Let’s look at one more interesting feature of the text. One way in which the Torah clues us in to subtleties is the way it refers to different people. With whom is Avraham negotiating? The Torah refers to Avraham’s interlocutors using three different names:

The Torah tells us twice that field and the cave become Avraham’s. But this is not exactly a repetition: the first time the Torah tells us about Avraham’s acquisition, it refers to the field and cave as a “mikna,” a purchase; the second time, after Avraham has buried his wife there, the Torah calls the field and cave an “ahuza,” a permanent holding. Apparently, the field and cave become Avraham’s “purchase” as soon as he pays the money, but they become an “ahuza,” a permanent holding, only once he has buried Sara. In other words, he has taken possession of the field in two different ways: 1) first by buying it with money and 2) then by actually establishing physical occupancy of the land by burying Sara there.

1. We know that Avraham wants an “ahuzat kaver,” a permanent burial ground, not just a space in someone else’s burial ground.
2. We know that he wants to pay for it and will not accept it as a gift.
3. We know he views the Bnei Het as the “am ha-aretz,” “the people of the land,” from whom he wants land.
4. We know that the Torah stresses that this event takes place publicly and is witnessed by everyone present.
5. We know that Avraham performs two different “kinyanim” (acquisition procedures), by both paying for the property and also occupying it. Each of these procedures yields a different status of ownership -- one of title, one of occupancy.

What does all this add up to? What is Avraham really after in these negotiations?

Avraham wants a piece of Eretz Yisrael, an “ahuza,” a permanent piece of land which he will pass down to his descendants.

We saw in Parashat Lekh Lekha that Avraham misunderstands Hashem’s promise that he will inherit the land: Avraham understands that he himself will take possession of the land, and therefore questions Hashem’s promise when time passes and the land has not become his. But Hashem tells him that he has misunderstood: Avraham himself will not take ownership of the land -- his descendants will, and only after they have emerged from enslavement in Egypt (and only once the current inhabitants of the land have descended to a state of evil which justifies their destruction.) This is part of the message of the “berit bein ha-betarim,” the “covenant between the split pieces.” Avraham understands this and accepts it -- but he still desperately wants a foothold of his own in Eretz Yisrael.

Avraham knows that the people of the land -- the “am ha-aretz” -- will never sell land to him if he simply visits the local Century 21 real estate office to ask about a homestead. He is an outsider, a foreigner. For the Bnei Het to sell land to him would be to admit him into their society as an equal with permanent membership. Avraham is, so to speak, the first black person to try to move into an upper-class, all-white suburban community. That first black man knows no one will sell him a house if he makes his approach directly, so he approaches indirectly: perhaps he hires a white man to go and buy it for him, and then he moves in with his family.

Avraham’s stratgey is to take advantage of the immediate need for a grave for Sara to grab a permanent foothold in Eretz Yisrael. Avraham lowers himself and behaves humbly, positioning himself as the bereaved husband who needs a favor from powerful neighbors. Paradoxically, Avraham’s is a position of power: the Torah stresses that the entire scene takes place in public, with everyone watching. Most people are capable of refusing to give charity to a poor person who approaches them privately, but to refuse a poor person who comes to you and begs you in front of everyone is just plain embarrassing. Avraham milks his situation for all it’s worth, positioning himself as the powerless one, the rootless stranger who depends upon the kindness of the honorable inhabitants of the land. Every single time he speaks, Avraham mentions that he needs a gravesite in order to bury his wife (in pesukim 4, 8, and 13), driving home the image of a grieving mourner to prevent the Bnei Het from deflecting him as an ambitious member of a minority group eager to move into the neighborhood. He introduces himself (pasuk 4) as a wanderer and a stranger, a person with no status among the natives of the land. He is a “charity case.” He repeatedly bows to the Bnei Het, manipulating the Bnei Het into capitulating by making a show of submission.

The Bnei Het, experienced negotiators, immediately see Avraham’s show of humility for what it is -- a threat. The more charity-worthy Avraham appears, the more inappropriate it would be to turn away his request in public. They try to reduce some of his power as a charity case by insisting that he is no rootless, statusless wanderer, he is a “prince of God”! Superficially, the Bnei Het are comforting Avraham, showing respect for him; in truth, they attempt only to undercut his negotiating position. Whenever they address him, they call him “adoni,” “master,” attempting to dislodge Avraham from the position of least stature -- and therefore greatest power -- in this negotiation. A “prince of God” needs favors from no one.

We can now look again at these negotiations and read them in a new light:

Avraham first positions himself as the underdog, which gives him power. Next, he asks for an “ahuzat kaver,” a permanent grave-possession. The Bnei Het first try to challenge Avraham’s powerful underdog status by insisting that they consider him a “prince of God.” But they know they cannot turn him down flat on his of a grave for his wife, so instead they become super-generous. They insist that they cannot let someone as important as Avraham pay for a grave. Instead, they offer him a free spot in one of their own family gravesites: “Bury your dead in the choicest of our graves! Not one of us will withhhis grave from you, for you to bury your dead.” This is a compromise for them; they will have to let the “black man” into the neighborhood in some small way, but on the other hand, they much prefer to let him bury his wife in one of their family graves than to sell him a family cemetery of his own, which would give him a permanent connection to the land (and the status which comes with being a landowner).

Indeed, the Bnei Het stress the *action* of burial (“kevor meitekha”) over the owning of a grave; they want to help Avraham bury his wife, not purchase a place to do so. They respond to Avraham’s first request for an ahuzat kever by cleverly demurring: “*Bury* *your* *dead* in the choicest of our graves; not one of us will withhold his grave from you, for you to *bury* *your* *dead*.” Well, we all know a grave is for burying the dead, so when the Bnei Het offer Avraham a grave specifically “to bury your dead,” what they mean is that if he wants a grave in order to bury his wife, they will help him, but if he wants it for some other reason -- which he does indeed -- they will not deal with him.

Avraham acknowledges the “generosity” of the Bnei Het in pasuk 7 with a bow. But then he pursues a new strategy. The Bnei Het have outsmarted him by appearing to generously offer him one of their own graves; to simply refuse this offer and insist on his own gravesite would appear ungrateful and impolite. So he puts Plan B into action. He will single out an individual among the Bnei Het and embarrass him into selling him a grave.

Clearly, Avraham has done his homework: he has planned for this possibility. He already knows that there is a cave of Mahpela which will serve nicely as a gravesite. He also knows who owns it. He repeats that he wants to pay instead of accepting a gravesite as a gift. When you accept a gift, you are a powerless recipient -- you cannot control what is given to you, only choose to accept or not. If Avraham had agreed to accept a gift, when they offered him a free grave among their own graves, to refuse this gift would have seemed ungrateful. So he continues to insist that he wants to pay for it. Also, he wants to establish very clear ownership of this land, as we will see, and a sale is always more powerful than a gift.

Efron, the Hittite singled out by Avraham in Plan B, is a clever negotiator. He offers not just the *cave* which Avraham had requested (“. . . Let me meet with Efron, son of Tzohar; let him give to me the *Cave* of Mahpela which is his, which is at the end of his field”), but also the *field* next to it (“. . . The *field,* I have given it to you, and the cave in it, to you I have given it!”). Efron is trying to get Avraham to back down from the deal by insisting that the deal will include not only the cave, but also the field.

Efron’s tactic recalls a tactic of Boaz in the Book of Ruth: the fields of Naomi need to be redeemed, so Boaz, the local judge/leader, offers the opportunity to redeem the fields to an unnamed relative of hers -- “Ploni Almoni.” “Ploni” is quite ready to redeem the fields until Boaz adds that by redeeming the fields, he is also taking Ruth, Naomi’s Moabite daughter-in-law, as a wife! “Ploni,” unwilling to marry a foreign woman and besmirch his lilly-white pedigree, gets cold feet in a hurry and backs down, clearing the way for Boaz himself to redeem the fields and marry Ruth). Even though Efron continues to call the offer a gift, he knows Avraham will not accept it a gift. He throws in the field hoping that Avraham will decide that it’s too expensive to buy both the field and the cave.

Avraham calls Efron’s bluff and accepts the deal: “I have given the payment for the *field.*” Efron responds by carrying on with the myth that it is all a gift -- “Master, listen to me, what is a land of *four* *hundred* *shekels* of silver between me and you?” -- but what he is really doing is naming the price of the field and the cave. This is his final effort to dissuade Avraham: making the field and cave so expensive that Avraham will back down.

Until now, this negotiation has been filled with people telling each other “Shema’eini” -- “Listen to me!” Each party rejects the other’s proposal, asserting his own in its place. But finally, in response to Efron’s final disuasive effort, the Torah tells us, “Va-yishma Avraham,” that “Avraham listened.” It seems that Avraham has given in; he “listens” to Efron. Here we have a double irony: on the surface, Efron has lost -- he wanted to give the field for free, and Avraham insists on paying and gets his way. The irony is that in truth, Efron has won, because he will be paid a lot of money for the field he said he would give for free. But on the most fundamental level, Efron loses the most important struggle, as Avraham calls his bluff once again and comes up with the money without a second’s hesitation. Efron underestimates the importance of Eretz Yisrael to Avraham, and this mistake costs him victory in this polite struggle.

The Torah goes on to tell us that “the cave, the field, and all the trees in it” become Avraham’s. If this whole story were really about buying a grave, it would make no sense to mention the trees, and even the field would be besides the point. But if Avraham’s real goal was to gain a permanent personal foothold in the land in which his children would live with their God, then we can understand that the *grave* is what is besides the point, but the field, and the living trees in it are completely the point! Indeed, the Torah later confirms that Avraham and Yitzhak do live in Hevron:

BERESHIT 35:27 --

Ya’akov came to Yitzhak, his father, to Mamre, Kiryat Arba, which is Hevron, where Avraham and Yitzchak [had] lived.

Eretz Yisrael is important to Avraham as a place to live, not a place to be taken in a pine box in the cargo bay of an El-Al 747 once he is dead and needs a place to be buried. He sees Eretz Yisrael as a place to live, not a place to be dead. And he wants a piece of it.

The Torah then tells us that he buries Sara in the cave. And then it tells us again that the field and the cave become his, as burying Sara is another form of acquisition of the land. Now Avraham is not just the owner in a legal sense, he has also occupied the land, permanently, through the grave he has established there.

These are the two senses in which we are connected to Eretz Yisrael -- in the living, active, making-Aliyah-raising-children-there sense, and, when we cannot hold onto the land for one reason or another, then it remains our “ahuzat kaver” -- the place where the dead of so many of our generations are buried. In a fundamental (and quite literal) sense, we always occupy the land. We always return to it to bury the next generation, or, when Hashem smiles at us, to return to establish a state, to live in its fields with its trees, and not just in its burial caves.

Avraham expired and died at a good old age, old and satisfied, and was gathered to his people. Yitzhak and Yishmael, his sons, buried him in the cave of Mahpela, in the **FIELD** of Efron, son of Tzohar the Hiti, which is before Mamre. [In] the **FIELD** which Avraham bought from the children of Het -- there were buried Avraham and Sara, his wife.

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