Church Bulletin Announcements
(from various sources, purportedly true)

Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help.

  • Thursday night - Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

  • For those of you who have children and don't know it. We have a nursery downstairs.

  • The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Balzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

  • This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

  • Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

  • Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me in My Little Bed, accompanied by the pastor.

  • Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.

  • This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

  • The service will close with "Little Drops of water". One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

  • Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.

  • The ladies of the church will have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early.

  • Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

  • The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

  • The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

  • Evening massage - 6 p.m.

  • The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

  • The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

  • Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

  • Ushers will eat latecomers.

  • The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

  • The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

  • The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

  • During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

  • Altar flowers are given to the glory of God in memory of her mother.


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