THE FALLEN ANGEL

Since the mid sixties, the disciple known as Sherwood Schwartz helped foment and establish the philosophy that would come to be known as the 'least common denominator'. It was his courageous efforts that led to brilliant classics like, 'Gilligan's Island' and 'The Brady Bunch', providing incredible human dramas, in which any problem could be resolved in thirty minutes.

It was here, that a generation learned the values of life like - don't steal, drink, lie, cheat on your wife, or kick your dog, without ever creating a situation in which the characters ever faced problems of a serious nature, like smoking crack, losing a loved one, or having the family car stolen by a bunch of Raiders fans.

And I have to make my apologies to the classically trained actor, Robert Reed, if I disagree with his assertion that, "It was a well-known fact that Sherwood Schwartz was absolutely the worst writer working in television."

If we listen to the master himself describe his deathless classic, "Gilligan's Island", we learn that his television shows were a microcosm for society itself. Particularly, American Society.

Some might even say, that if the characters on 'Gilligan's Island' or 'The Brady Bunch', were vain, superficial and moronic, it was actually just a reflection on our own lack of artistic standards and wealth of infantile, self-centered individuals.

Around the same time, another prophet entered the scene who would later be referred to as 'The Fallen Angel', Aaron Spelling.

Starting out with socially responsible, banally naïve shows like, 'The Mod Squad', and 'Charlie's Angels' in which the good guys always won and the bad guys paid the price for their evil ways, Spelling went on to make nighttime soap operas, like 'Dallas', 'Dynasty', 'Beverly Hills 90210', and of course, the modern epic, 'Melrose Place'.

It was here that we learned that American people eventually sleep with every other person in the office, get pregnant and battle alcoholism, often simultaneously. It was Spelling who made the portrayal of human dysfunction a nightly ritual. Of course, some would say that, like the modern daytime talk show, Spelling only made us more comfortable with our own human weaknesses and spiritual bankruptcy.

Well, the people here, at The Church of Fell believe that virtually all spiritual guidance can be learned from even the most trivial and seemingly useless situation comedies. Yes, even the superficial, profoundly retarded characters that the networks have given us over the years offer valuable lessons on the human condition. The cast on 'Family Ties' or 'Who's the Boss' never did drugs or cheated on each other. Situation comedies taught us that virtually any family problem can be resolved if people really love each other.

It's no coincidence that Chrissy Snow's father was a minister, in the beloved classic, 'Three's Company'. He was obviously just an allusion to the firm, but true, entity, that the world came to know as Stanley Roper. Sure, Stanley harassed his tenants for rent, and spent his spare time with a pair of binoculars at a nude beach. But there was something vaguely childlike, and innocent about the character that betrayed the real nature of the man behind the mask, Norman Fell.

Norman Fell is a giant among men, and about average height among women. If I had to venture a guess, I would say that he stands about five seven, but I could be wrong. It's hard to guess people's height on television because of camera angles and stuff.

Anyway, the Church of Fell recognizes the positive influence that infantile and moronic television has had on the American psyche, and 'Three's Company' is certainly no exception. May you never run low on binoculars, Stanley Roper. You're an inspiration to us all.