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Ketubot
Shulamit Widawsky
February 11, 1999
A ketubah, or Jewish marriage contract, can be an elegant and central part of the wedding ceremony. Whether a couple marries in a wedding rich with Orthodox tradition, or in a ceremony created with beautiful originality, a ketubah remains long afterward, a permanent witness to the sacred and ultimately personal vows of each Jewish bride and groom.
Hiddur mitzvah is an ancient Jewish custom which means literally to "adorn the commandment." Our history is filled with examples of artisans from every age who took this concept to heart and created ceremonial objects to go beyond the simply functional. The Torah tells us how to adorn the Ark of the Covenant, the priests’ robes, ceremonial jewelry. There have been long stretches of time during which Ketubot were made on a simple piece of paper, folded, and kept (always by the wife) in a safe, out of the way, place.
Sometimes, couples are put off by the legalistic style of the Orthodox text. An easy way that many choose to accommodate this problem is by adding vows in English, after the Aramaic. As long as it doesn’t specifically negate the traditional intention, a change in language and a space between texts most rabbis are comfortable allowing that the English text be added onto the wedding contract.
A ketubah is a Jewish marriage contract. The traditional text is not in Hebrew. It is in Aramaic—the ancient language of legal documents and agreements. And that is exactly what a traditional Ketubah is: a legal document. A required legal document.
The rabbis knew that the laws they set out regarding ketubot (the plural form of ketubah) were not encouraging romantic notions. To the contrary. By requiring the document, rather than merely suggesting it, they circumvented the starry-eyed young couple in romantic bliss, and cut straight to the needs of the divorcée and the widow.
At the time of its origin around the first century b.c.e. it was considered a great innovation, and a terrific step towards an era of women’s rights. While the ketubah did not grant the wife the power of divorce, it did grant her some equity previously not afforded females. The ketubah was designed with the intention of giving power and safety to a married woman. Until then, a wife’s legal status was almost strictly as chattel—a slave in her own home.
A ketubah, or Jewish marriage contract, can be an elegant and central part of the wedding ceremony. Whether a couple marries in a wedding rich with Orthodox tradition, or in a ceremony created with beautiful originality, a ketubah remains long afterward, a permanent witness to the sacred and ultimately personal vows of each Jewish bride and groom.
It is true that the traditional ketubah is a legal document. It opens with a simple nod to the more emotional aspects of married life, but quickly turns to issues of support and maintenance of the wife, by the husband. It goes on to enumerate what provisions will continue in marriage, and in the event that the marriage comes to an end. The traditional text looks like Hebrew, but it is not. It is in Aramaic—the ancient Jewish language of legal documents and agreements. And that is exactly what a traditional Ketubah is: a required legal document.
The rabbis knew that the laws they set out regarding ketubot (the plural form of ketubah) did not encourage romantic notions. To the contrary. By requiring the document, rather than merely suggesting it, they circumvented the starry-eyed young couple in romantic bliss, and cut straight to the needs of the troubled marriage, the widow, and the divorcée.
At the time of its origin around the first century b.c.e. it was considered a great innovation, and a terrific step towards an era of Jewish women’s rights. While the ketubah did not grant the wife the power of divorce, it did grant her some equity previously not afforded females. The ketubah was designed with the intention of giving power and safety to a married woman. Until then, a wife’s legal status was almost strictly as chattel—a slave in her own home.
The modern ketubah is often strictly kosher, strictly traditional in its text. By using the Aramaic formula, couples may feel confident that their marriage has been bound according to halacha and long-standing Jewish tradition.
Sometimes, couples are put off by the legalistic style of the Orthodox text. An easy way that many choose to accommodate this problem is by adding their own vows to their Ketubah. English text may generally be added onto the wedding contract as long as it doesn’t specifically negate the traditional intention. (A change in language and a space between texts will keep most rabbis comfortable, but do check with your rabbi if you have any concerns.)
Reform rabbis do not any longer require the ketubah, yet it is becoming steadily more popular with Reform and even mixed couples. The idea of having an artistic rendering of the vows made on the day you set your commitments to each other out in public, holds appeal even for the most secular among us. In these cases, the bride and groom might create their own vows, or choose from the many example texts available.
Beyond the wording, the halachic requirements regarding the ketubah are quite simple. It must be sturdy enough to last a life-time, it must be legible, it must have two adult witnesses (traditionally they are kosher, Jewish men), and the groom must accept the terms there written. Unlike Torah scrolls and mezzuzot, there are no specific scribal requirements. A kosher ketubah may be produced by anything from a ball-point pen to a computer capable of Hebrew text.
Historically, ketubot have gone through different styles. At times they were a simple calligraphed paper, kept in a silk pouch, which the wife kept under her pillow. At other times they became ornately illuminated manuscripts, prized for their beauty. Today, ketubot have commonly become a piece of Judaica, proudly framed and displayed in married couples’ homes.
There is a reason ketubot became a piece of art: hiddur mitzvah, the ancient Jewish custom which means literally to "adorn the commandment." Our history is filled with examples of artisans from every age who took this concept to heart and created ceremonial objects to go beyond the simply functional. The Torah tells us how to adorn the Ark of the Covenant, the priests’ robes, ceremonial jewelry. It is clear that the physical object representing the sacred act of marriage would come under the category of hiddur mitzvah. But there is no tradition for what that adorning might look like.
What kind of ketubah you want for your own wedding might seem a daunting question, at first. With so many options, how does one go about choosing just the right one?
A simple printed text can be ordered through a Judaica shop for about $10. But you probably wouldn’t frame it and put it on the wall. If you are artistically inclined, you might consider the mitzvah of creating your own ketubah. You might write your own vows, or your rabbi can supply the traditional Aramaic text. Next you may handwrite, calligraph, or word-process your ketubah. If you make your own ketubah, it is often a good idea to put the text and the art on separate pieces of paper to avoid the frustration (and possibly time squeeze) that making a mistake on one, but not the other, can contribute.
In centuries past, to get a beautiful ketubah required the very expensive hiring of calligrapher and artist. Today, there are many ketubot artists throughout the U.S. and Israel. Some of them have beautiful printed ketubot from which you may choose. These are available at Judaic shops and on-line. Direct your search engine to find the word "ketubah," and you will be amazed at how many artists you can find. There are also clearing-houses for printed ketubot. One example is www.ketubah.com. A printed ketubah generally costs between $50 and $500, and still requires somebody to fill in the proper names, dates, etc.
Finally, perhaps the best, but definitely the most expensive option, is to commission an original ketubah from a ketubah artist (or artists). Names for such artists can generally be found locally through your rabbi, other friends who have used a ketubah artist, advertising, and again, the internet. A good ketubah artist will listen to your needs and desires, and work to design the ketubah to your tastes. A hand made ketubah might be painted, paper-cut, or mixed-media. It might be on paper, museum board, or actual parchment. The size can be whatever you order, but remember that you will have to live with it your entire married life. Pick a size, suitable to your expected life-style. Original ketubot cost anything from about $600 up into the many thousands. An artist who is simple in style, or just starting out might land on the lower end of the scale, and be within reach of even a modest budget. An artist whose ketubot hang internationally in museums and galleries will charge a great amount, even upwards from $5000. But the artwork they create may become an heirloom in your family for generations to come.
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