MORE MONEY FOR MECHA
MILLIONAIRE
The defense conversion
program took an interesting turn this week. Defense
contractor and mechanical megalomaniac, Richard
Ross, signed an agreement with pretzel giant Pete
to adapt antiquated military robots and mecha to
the production of pretzels. After the disaster at
Tighty Whitey's last month there are many skeptics
who claim that one can not teach an old robot new
tricks. Ross claims that the fiasco was a result of
Tighty Whitey's employees.
"The button on the robot's
console clearly read 'Launch Missiles,' not 'Lunch
Missiles.' said Ross, "Who the hell would want to
eat a missile for lunch anyways!? Those stupid
bastards got what they deserve." Evidentially the
underwear empire's loss is the pretzel world's gain
as the new robots will be installed in stores
nationwide next month.
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