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| go to lobby page | more reviews | go to other departments | GLENN LONEY'S SHOW NOTES
By Glenn Loney
[01] Vacation in Vegas
Caricature of Glenn Loney
by Sam Norkin.
[02] The "Fremont Experience"
[03] No Droughts at Sahara
[04] Gambling Can Be Fun
[05] Visit Vegas: See Europe
[06] Master Magician Lance Burton
[07] Riviera Women: Exposed & Concealed
[08] "Crazy Girls" Go Crazy
[09] Drag-Queen Joan Rivers in "La Cage"
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For our archive of Glenn Loney's previous 1999 columns, click here.
Vacation in Vegas:
When photos first appeared of that Las Vegas Landmark Hotel/Casino, New York/New York, it seemed a cute architectural idea. But not worth a trip to the Southern Nevada Desert to see in greatly reduced scale what New Yorkers can gawk at all the time.
MINI-MANHATTAN--Hotel/Casino/Theme-Park "New York, New York," so nice they cloned the skyscrapers more than twice. Photo —Glenn Loney/The Everett Collection As soon as the Venetian Hotel/Casino opened, however, it seemed high time to check out the changes in the Vegas landscape. I have to admit I had not seen The Strip or even Fremont Street since 1955-56.
Maybe my reluctance to return had something to do with the fact that I was at that time a desperately poor college professor at the University of Nevada Southern. We were virtually working out of a broom-closet in the high-school auditorium.
Even my students made more than I did: as cocktail waitresses and dealers. They'd take pity on me and come round in the late evening to treat me to headliners on the Strip. I didn't even have a car.
In those days, you could see some great shows for the price of a ginger-ale. And hotel-rooms were almost given away, to lure High-Rollers, more cautious gamblers, and robotic slot-machine feeders.
UN faculty had pool passes to the major hotel/casinos. Noontimes, I'd go swimming and then grade papers while enjoying the $1 eat-all-you-can Chuckwagon Buffet.
Several times, I was offered $10 to pack up my papers and go across the Strip to the Silver Slipper to eat. Seeing a seedy academic scribble corrections on English essays apparently didn't put hotel guests in a holiday mood.
I never gambled as I knew I had no luck. Curiously, however, some of my students found they would win if they held onto me when they played the slots. Like one of those Lucky Hats which protect you from lightning!
I rented a two-room adobe from the Mormon Post-Mistress. As I didn't smoke or drink, she was sure I was a good candidate for the Latter Day Saints. [When I much later wrote for the "Christian Science Monitor," they had the same idea, for Scientists are also
abstainers.] In those distant times, the solid Mormon citizenry were the glue that held the community together. Whatever excesses were plotted by Bugsy Siegel and others, the integrity and neighborliness of the Saints provided a much-needed stability.
The "Fremont Experience"
It is now almost 45 years ago, but I still vividly remember waking up at 3 am to find the Vegas sky ablaze with reddish light. What's more, you could go out at that hour and buy bread, milk, and meat, if you felt peckish.Downtown on Fremont Street, Benny Binnon's Golden Horseshoe lit up the night sky—all night.
It still does. But now the mega-watt explosion of casino-neon has been somewhat eclipsed by an enormous semi-circular atrium-canopy. It stretches the length of the glowing avenue, forming a kind of Grand Italianate Galleria.
When the evening sun goes down, every hour on the hour, it is the curved surface for a remarkable sound-and-light show. This has to be one of this decades' technical marvels.
Space-ships, giant butterflies, dinosaurs, abstract designs: all run riot overhead, to the accompaniment of powerful music and amazing sound-effects.
Not to be missed! And the Buffets—both on Fremont and on the Strip—are still a major bargain. But the food is infinitely better than it was in the 1950s.
Were General John C. Fremont able to return from the Happy Hunting Ground, he'd be astounded at what has happened in his name on his street. But so was I!
No Droughts at the Sahara!
It was my good fortune to be invited to stay at the Sahara Hotel/Casino at a very reasonable rate. In a very handsome, comfortable room with a great view of the desert and the mountains.The Sahara has nothing in common with the desert of the same name. There is no drought, for instance, in its huge and attractive pool. Nor in any of the bars or restaurants.
Its architectural adornments suggest sets for "The Thief of Baghdad" or Coney Island in its heyday. It is an Arabian Fantasy where once Native Americans pitched teepees or built hogans.
The Sahara has long been famed for presenting major entertainers. At the moment, it's a bit upstaged by attractions at newer hotel/casinos.
But it's also in the midst of a major $100 million expansion. Before long, it will open a new NASCAR Cafe—with giant TV screens to simulate the excitement of major racing.
Even now, however, guests can savor something of that experience with two kinds of 3-D simulations. These fill a huge area, recreating a Winston Cup Race and the Sahara Off-Road Rally.
After you've run the Winston Cup in your very own race-car, you get a print-out of how you did. I didn't use the brake once. I was so flummoxed by the visual surround-simulation that I kept stepping on the gas-pedal instead of the brake.
Oh well, you can't win them all! I did much, much better negotiating the tortuous roads of Canyonlands and Bryce National Park after Vegas!
Gambling Can Be Fun—Or a Family Disaster!
In the elevator up to the Sahara's 21st floor, I'd hear some guests complaining that they hadn't been comped: "They know I play a lot. Why didn't I get a free room this time?"In my innocence, I thought they could pay for their own rooms if they were winning big. Big Winners, however, are apparently often comped because they generate excitement at the tables. They attract the hopeful moths to the bright flame of their success at blackjack, baccarat, and other games of chance.
Actually, the odds are very much against winning.
Even people who know that very well are not deterred. You might just be the one to win a huge slot-jackpot. After someone else has been feeding the machine fruitlessly—no row of cherries or oranges, that is—all night.
In keeping with the New Image of Las Vegas as a Giant Theme-Park—with fun for the whole family—the possibility of zooming from Rags to Riches with one throw of the dice is now definitely downplayed.
Kids can't play the slots anyway. But, for those who are older—and who should be somewhat wiser—the glitter and excitement of the casino floor can be a compelling invitation to lose your house or total your savings-account.
So some public-relations efforts are made to emphasize the role of gambling as part of the whole package of vacation treats in store for those who can afford to play.
"Don't let the game get out of hand. It's Entertainment."
This is the slogan on the cover of a brochure provided by the Boyd Gaming Corporation, which operates the Fremont, the Stardust, the Eldorado, and Main Street Station, among other casinos.
Inside the flyer, Problem Gamblers are urged to phone 1-800-522-4700 for help.
As the Boyd Corporation notes: "A roll of the dice. A pull of the handle. The flip of a card. The bounce of a ball. In the exciting and fast-paced world of gaming, these simple acts can mean the difference between winning and losing. But when your bank account, your mortgage, or your life ride on the outcome, your gambling has gotten out of hand."
Too true.
Years ago, my adobe was broken into several times by gamblers who'd lost everything. As I had virtually nothing either, they couldn't recoup their losses by stealing my dog-eared Complete Works of Shakespeare.
Then there were the frequent reports of losers who'd driven out into the desert and shot themselves.
But that was in the Bad Old Days before gambling was just Entertainment. Just part of the Theme-Park Experience—but certainly a major part.
Still, it's a bit unsettling to see a weathered old granny, at 3 am on a stool before a gleaming slot-machine, with tears running down her face and an empty coin-bucket. But nobody forced her to dump her Social Security check into a One-Armed Bandit!
Visit Vegas and See Europe's Capitals!
Not only can you see the Brooklyn Bridge, the Chrysler Building, and the Statue of Liberty on The Las Vegas Strip, you can also visit the major monuments of Venice and Paris.The visual attractions of New York, New York are now widely known. But the Venetian has just opened and still needs some finishing touches. Even now, however, it provides the amazing experience of being able to walk by Venice's great landmarks in ten minutes or so.
Here's the oges' Palace, the Rialto Bridge, and the Campanile. The recreation of this famous bell-tower—which once collapsed long, long ago—would be quite a thrill, if it weren't for a huge Eiffel Tower just up The Strip. Also known as Las Vegas Boulevard.
The complex metal structure straddles a part of the Louvre and Charles Garnier's "Wedding-Cake" Paris Opéra. The framework of a rigid Montgolfier Balloon is under construction.
This impressive evocation of Parisian Architectural Monuments—complete with hotel and casino—will open in the fall.
Nearby, you can escape the historical present into the Mythical Medieval. At The Excalibur Hotel/Casino, the colorful towers and turrets of Camelot are recalled—just across the street from the Statue of Liberty.
Then there's the fabulous Bellagio, with its Art Collection and great lake and dancing-waters. Not to overlook the profusion of classical statuary at Caesar's Palace. Nor the Beaux Arts splendors of the Monte Carlo.
How about Egypt? Luxor boasts not only an immense Sphinx, but also a gleaming black glass Pyramid. Next door are the exotic decorative and architectural details of the Mandalay—which also has a monorail connecting with some other hotels.
VEGAS VALLEY OF THE KINGS--See the Luxor's Sphinx & Pyramid without terrorist assualts—but watch out for One-Armed Bandits! Photo —Glenn Loney/The Everett Collection. In a whirlwind visit to Vegas, I did get to photograph—in general and in detail—the major hotel/resort/casinos on The Strip. But I didn't have time to inspect the interiors—except the Sahara—in any detail.
If one had infinite vacation-time, it would be great to stay at each of the great hotels in turn, to check them out. And to enjoy their varied and often breathtaking decorative innovations.
Taking pictures for my INFOTOGRAPHY ArtsArchive at the Everett Collection [photo agency] this time round, I was most concerned with signature exterior views.
At the Venetian, however, I was able to photograph actors in 18th Century Venetian costumes in the impressive Palladian Gallery with its remarkable ceiling frescoes.
I also found a Commedia dell'Arte "Capitano" kibitzing some slot-players.
But you aren't supposed to photograph gamblers at work or play. So he obligingly posed against a mock-Renaissance archway—at a distance from the slots.
The Eiffel Tower and the Campanile from the Piazza San Marco aren't the only towering architectural signatures. The huge space-needle of the Stratosphere looms over the Strip and can be seen for miles away in the dessert.
But even those resort/hotel/casinos which haven't reconstructed World Capitals also have immense standing signs out front to showcase their entertainers, gaming, and buffet menus.
The range and variety of famous names in music, dance, and comedy are astonishing. You will never be able in Manhattan to have such choices in any one evening. And certainly not in LA.
Tommy Tune was in town to try out a new musical. Gone are the days of try-outs in Boston, New Haven, and Philly!
You hardly ever see the fabulous Rockettes at Radio City anymore. But you can enjoy their marvelous precision dance-routines in Vegas.
I've never seen Siegfried & Roy and their white tigers live, but they are a fixture on The Strip. Maybe next time? Watching them on TV isn't the same as an up-front experience.
He's Cool and He's Hot!
Lance Burton: Master Magician
At the magnificent Monte Carlo—whose entrances recreate the Monegasque architectural flourishes of the real Monte Carlo's Belle Époque Casino—there is a spacious Grand Theatre, created specifically for the mystifying magical illusions of Lance Burton.
MONTE CARLO'S MASTER MAGICIAN--Lance Burton's card-tricks are so hot this run of Diamonds seems to catch fire! This charming and amusingly casual prestidigitator you have surely seen on television. But, unlike David Copperfield, who is often on tour, you do have to go to Vegas to see Lance Burton Live.
He has a 13-year contract with the Monte Carlo, following a very successful five-year stint at the Hacienda
The Monte Carlo management quite rightly has done everything to make its magical star at home. The baroque initials LB are emblazoned everywhere in the handsome auditorium—which seats some 1200 transfixed fans.
Burton jests at what it would cost to replace his initials with some other decoration. He's obviously at the Monte Carlo for a very long run.
The theatre was built to his specifications, so there must be a maze of invisible traps in the stage. Burton presents a glamorous showgirl in a lovely robe. He spins her around and suddenly, there's nothing left but the robe!
Burton has won all kinds of major awards for his magic, but the real test is his effect on audiences. They love him!
He's an engaging, handsome, amusing personality, with a wonderfully casual way of producing the most amazing illusions. Or finding an egg or a coin behind a kid's ear.
He jokes that he doesn't pull white rabbits out of hats. Or White Tigers, for that matter. He leaves the Jungle Beasts to his colleagues Siegfried & Roy.
Lance Burton prefers to produce white doves and birds—and ducks and geese—from thin air. He's a wizard with fowls and a master with poultry!
His shirt-sleeves are always turned back, so you can see he has nothing up his sleeves. Does he conceal his birds in his sleek long coat-tails?
Suddenly there's another dove, produced out of nowhere! It flies away to nest in a street-lamp on stage.
And before long, it appears again transformed from a white scarf. At the close of the show, a flight of doves swoops down onto the stage from the balcony.
Burton is also fond of his signature White Corvette, in which he flies through the air on stage.
There are some astonishing innovations in Burton's illusions. He is a classical magician, so the most famous visual deceptions are also on view. But he does each with his own special flair.
In addition to sleight-of-hand and hilarious aw-shucks patter up close to the audience, Burton offers some full-stage production-numbers which are really impressive.
Not only for their magic effects, but also for the stunning costumes and ingenious settings and lighting. Lighting, of course, is extremely important in enhancing illusions.
A Louis XV production-number—with panniered skirts and towering wigs—would make the DuBarry or Madame de Pompadour jealous with fashion-envy. This scene recalled Broadway's "The Scarlet Pimpernel."
Lance Burton's cascade of tricks is occasionally and delightfully interrupted by the juggler-clown Michael Goudeau. He does all by himself what it takes all the Brothers Karamazov to do with bowling balls and chain-saws flying through the air.
Like Lance Burton, he's charming and amusing and off-hand about his considerable talents. He has even taught clowning and juggling in Baraboo and Sarasota, Ringling Brothers Hqs.
Who now remembers that W. C. Fields began as a juggler-comic in vaudeville? Will Michael Goudeau one day be our new W. C. Fields?
He's such good seasoning to Lance Burton's amazing illusions that it's very unlikely Burton will make him disappear any time soon!
Burton has his own website [www.lanceburton.com] where you can meet him on-line. And even learn a few magic tricks.
Handicapped kids have been making amazing strides in physical coordination by learning how to do these tricks from the website. And Burton gives generously of his time to help and entertain the less fortunate.
Just outside his personal theatre at the Monte Carlo is the Magic Shop. You can get his autograph after the show. Or try out one of your own tricks.
Not to forget taking home a Lance Burton MAGIC SET!
Riviera Women: Exposed & Concealed!
At the famed Riviera Hotel/Casino, I was invited to see two of the glittering shows currently on view. Each has its own theatre-space.There's also a special theatre for Stand-Up Comedy. As you can get all you want of this simply by riding the subway in New York, I was not disappointed to miss their jokes and jibes.
I was expecting to find color-slides and press-materials for both the shows on my return to New York. The Lance Burton back-ups arrived in profusion.
Stupid me! I didn't take notes—and I didn't buy the full-color programs—so there are no visuals and no personal credits to share at this time. If some of this material does materialize from Vegas—I've phoned several times, without an answer—the missing pix and names will be added to this file.
"Crazy Girls" Go Crazy
What's most impressive about this bare-it-all Riviera revue is the ingenuity of the costume-designer in creating a stunning variety of glittering, glamorous outfits for super-endowed ladies, wearing as little as legally possible. If there are even any laws in Vegas about nudity.Way back in the mid-Fifties, Mormon Morality dominated civic & private life in Vegas. But on Fremont Street and out on The Strip, there was a different ethic in play.
But even then, the famous stripper at the Silver Slipper, Sally Rand, was still doing her celebrated Fan Dance in low-wattage blue-lights.
This may have been less to offend the pious—or excite the prurient—with full frontal nudity than to prevent audiences from seeing how she'd aged since 1939. At the '39 Golden Gate International Exposition, on Treasure Island, Sally Rand's Nude Ranch was the hot attraction on the World's Fair Gayway.
In those more innocent times, naughty Las Vegans who were caught with porn films in their possession lost face, fine-money, and films.
The police then informally showed the seized films to upstanding local male citizens at Stag Nights. At a dollar a shot, this made it possible to place American Flags in every schoolroom!
I have lived a relatively sheltered bachelor life, so my familiarity with tits-and-ass is largely confined to hearing that hilarious song—about their compelling attractions when flaunted on stage—in "A Chorus Line."
But tired business-men aren't the only spectators who enjoy topless performers. Many of the women in the Riveria audience were obviously getting quite a charge out of the songs, dances, and comedy routines.
The obvious reason is that this is not merely a Voyeurs' Parade of topless—and often bottomless—dancers. The dance-numbers are deftly choreographed for the small stage, and they are certainly attractively set & costumed.
This is Art—of a certain seductive, titillating kind—not Porn. But it did remind me of what a randy old uncle of mine once said when I took him to such a show in Paris: "I haven't seen anything like this since I was weaned!"
He understood nothing at all about computers, but before he died, he tried out what he called "Laptop Dancing."
The Mistress of Ceremonies is a wryly lively married lady—or so she presents herself—with a lot of experience under her belt, so to speak. She certainly knows a lot about most men's fantasies, kinks, and hang-ups.
And she's hilarious in discussing them. Much of her patter, however, seemed to sail right over the heads of the hordes of Japanese who flooded into the theatre just before showtime.
Discussing the gourmet-treat of spraying Redi-Whip on the knob of a spouse's penis, she marveled at the Ignorance of Men. The man in question, she noted, said: "It's like a helmet!"
In her view, the penis already has a biological helmet.
The things you can learn at the theatre!
"La Cage" aux Drag Queens
You've seen some of Bob Mackie's fabulous gowns in films, on TV, and even on Broadway. But he has outdone himself to costume the glamorous Mistress of Ceremonies for the Riviera's "La Cage" revue.After each production-number by yet another fabulous feminine song-stylist, she/he appears in a costume-confection more astounding than the last one.
The performance Persona is an affectionate salute to Joan Rivers, but this talented impersonator looks better in the gowns than Joanie ever could. That may have annoyed her, for she once sued him for millions for his take-off parody.
Actually, he doesn't take off anything. And Ms. Rivers should be very grateful she has such a super surrogate to remind audiences that there is a real Joan Rivers somewhere, even if not at the Riviera.
After all, imitation is said to be the sincerest form of flattery. The time to worry is when no one is interested in doing a parody of you. And audiences have no idea who is being travestied!
The jokes are often raw—which seems to be the Vegas Standard—but they are also often very funny. If you aren't in town for a Southern Baptist Conference, that is.
After Kenneth Starr & Monica, even the most cloistered monk—or closeted Methodist—must now know what a Blow Job is! If our US Congress was so eager to let every man, woman, and child in America know the down-and-dirty details of Oval Office Oral Sex, no one should be shocked by ribald references in revues.
Time was when you could only hear this kind of humor at Lambs' Club or Friars' Club Roasts. Not that I've ever been to one, but I've heard some astonishingly smutty comedy from Jack Benny, Fred Allen, and George Burns on pirate-tapes of such events.
"La Cage" is not a tabloid version of "La Cage aux Folles." It's a revue, impure and not so simple. Although the singing stars are all drag-queens—some of them very elegant—Michael Jackson also makes an appearance. Perhaps he's considered borderline?
The lady sitting next to me asked where the orchestras were, as each star seemed to have distinctive orchestrations. I suggested to her that, aside from Madame Rivers, the performers might be lip-synching. [Loney]
Copyright © Glenn Loney 1999. No re-publication or broadcast use without proper credit of authorship. Suggested credit line: "Glenn Loney, New York Theatre Wire." Reproduction rights please contact: jslaff@nytheatre-wire.com.
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