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"I thought it was a fantastic thing to do..........none of us thought,
"You silly twat!", or, "Oh no! you can't play guitar!", I just thought
'Cutting your arm up to prove you're real, you can't get any better than
that'"
- Nicky Wire, NME, July 1998, ON RICHEY'S '4-REAL'
Being a huge manics fan a lot of this page has been inspired by Richey Edwards, but I was also anxious that it didn't turn into a homage to Richey. However, he's a prime example of an open self-harmer and I know he means a lot to many people. An e-mail that was sent seemed to show how much of an effect he has had on people, and I knew then there should be a section devoted to him.
Here's the mail....
I started hurting myself when I was twelve years old, & went through
ages of thinking there was something wrong with me - that I was a
freak or something. There was no way I could ever tell anyone what I
was doing, & I felt like I was the only one. Then one day I saw a
photo of Richey in a music paper - that infamous photo when he'd just
cut '4 REAL' into his arm & is showing it to the camera, & I suddenly
realised it wasn't just me. I started reading interviews when he or
the others talked about it, listening to the lyrics he wrote. I could
have cried when it really dawned on me that I wasn't the only one -
it helped so much in itself to know that there was someone else out
there who might know how I felt. Some people say that he was just
showing it to the cameras for publicity, but I find it hard to
believe that anyone could do that to themselves just for publicity. &
some people say that by being open about it he was encouraging others
like his fans & glamourising it, but I don't agree with that. Maybe
he was tired of it having to be a secret & it being shameful. He was
the only person who's ever been that open about it really. He's
helped so many people - by making the public see that it does exist &
they can't pretend it doesn't, by getting people to talk about it, by
letting other people who suffered know that they're not alone. I
mean, it takes a lot of guts for me to tell anyone, or walk around in
the clothes that let the scars show, so if anything I look up to
him for being able to have photos of it taken & to talk about it. I
know for a fact that it did his head it when he knew that fans looked
up to him for doing it or just copied him, which is why I never wrote
to him incase I came across as being like them. I don't agree when
people say he was a freak or something - it seems to me like he was a
very beautiful & intelligent person. I can't really explain how much
he helped & what he means to me.
Throughout his career, Richey James self mutilated. He talked reasonably
freely about this, and also wrote some lyrics about it.
"I've never hit anybody in my life. I never would, and the only way I
could make a point was by hurting myself.....It's something I've done
since I was a teenager.
(after carving '4-real' into his arm with a razor blade)
"It's about people who hurt themselves in order to concentrate, or just to
feel something"
(about the song 'Roses In The Hospital')
"I find cutting myself attractive...I find it....sexual"
"I am an architect ~ they call me a butcher"
"Self disgust is self obsession honey, and I do as I please"
(from the lyrics to 'Faster')
"When I cut myself I feel so much better. All the little things that might
have been annoying me suddenly seem so trivial, because I'm concentrating
on the pain"
"Self abuse is anti social, aggression still natural"
"I eat and I dress and I wash and I can still say thank you. Puking,
shaking, sinking, I still stand for old ladies, can't shout, can't scream,
I hurt myself to get pain out"
(from lyrics to the song 'Yes')
"such beautiful dignity in self abuse"
(from lyrics to the song '4st 7lb')
RICHEY RELATED ARTICLES
dutch radio interview from 1993
A transcript of the NME staff's heated debate on whether to print the
'4 REAL' photos
MANIC STREET PREACHERS' albums are
(with Richey:)
Generation Terrorists
Gold Against the Soul
The Holy Bible
(without Richey:)
Everything Must Go
This is my Truth tell me Yours
Big thanks to Jenna and Jane for help with this page!
