I had little knowledge of the procedures a girl uses for going to the toilet, all I knew was that they used toilet paper for wees as well as poos and a vague notion about wiping in a certain way to prevent germs. 

So, to enhance my knowledge of matters urinary, I asked 7 boys and 7 girls to describe their urinating technique to me as follows: 

boys: one handed or two, which hand, shaking technique, how many shakes, how do you replace it in your pants, and anything you would like to add. 

girls: how much paper do you use, do you fold it scrunch it etc., which direction do you wipe, and anything else you would like to add. 

I received replies from 5 girls and 4 boys. These replies ranged from a few lines to a few pages, with most people going off on tangents of their own. 
 

GENTLEMEN 

I will start with the information provided by the boys. 

Anthony of Richmond holds his penis with either his left hand or no hand at all. Russell of Abbotsford uses his right hand as do Andrew of London and Chris of Abbotsford. I had a theory that blokes hold their dicks with the hand they do not write with, the research disproves this theory. To remove any remaining wees Anthony likes a gentle shake or to ‘wiggle’ if using hands free mode. Russell likes to give a slow up and down shake as he pisses moving to a vigorous shake near completion and a further 4 to 5 shakes when finished. Andrew believes any more than 2 shakes is a wank. Chris gives 2 to 3 shakes upon finishing weeing. I wondered if others had a special way of placing their willies in their pants, but no everyone just popped it back in and let it flop into place. 

Unfortunately I did not receive any replies from any one who milked their willy (although I suspect Timmy may because he refused to answer my questions once the issue of milking came up). I tried this method myself and found it did not remove any remaining wee wees, leaving me to ask what is the point of this method. Russell also tried it drawing the same conclusion, if anyone could enlighten me I would be grateful. I did however gather some other interesting information. 

No one would admit to looking anywhere near another blokes cock when at a urinal. Andrew says that as it is not done to look at another blokes cock it comes down to who can piss the hardest, highest and longest. Russell is a fan of pissing outdoors claiming it allows him to be more creative. He can lean back and let fly, and test his flow , claiming a distance of 2-3 metres is not uncommon. 

Russell, Andrew and Chris try not to stand on the step of a urinal as it is inevitably covered in piss. Andrew likes to aim at the yellow balls in the trough to pass time. Russell believes the builders of urinals should come up with a model that changes colour when pissed on (kind of like a hyper-colour T-shirt). Or, if this is not feasible a target which you aim at and it measures the strength of your flow and gives you a score, high scores attracting free pots of beer. 
 

LADIES 

Now to the girls. It appears the girls like to use a lot of toilet paper. Georgina of Watsonia North, Fely of Upper Ferntree Gully, Allison of Ballarat, Katrina of Prahran and Michelle of British Columbia all use up to 8 sheets a time. All except ,Michelle scrunch their paper, Michelle likes to fold hers neatly. 

Allison, despite being left wing and a keen recycler, is quite anal (her pun) when it comes to matters of wipage. Allison will only buy the best toilet paper - Sorbent or Kleenex. She has however recently ditched Kleenex due to the use of the wondrous trees of the Otways in its product. She hopes to hear nothing bad about Sorbent or it is back to the old cotton rag for her. 

Georgina says she wipes until completely dry as she cannot stand the feeling of only having half wiped herself. For much the same reason Allison hates having to squat and drip dry in the bush. She does not mind the squatting as it tones up leg muscles, more that she cannot drip it all away leaving residue to fester in her undies and developing potential odours and cancelling any possibility of sexual encounters. To avoid this, Allison always carries tissues with her. 

Michelle always likes to inspect her wees to see if it is neon colour, indicating a vitamin overdose, she admits this is indeed weird. Katrina, like most of the girls loathes public toilets. When forced to use the toilet at work, Katrina always uses the same one - at the end of the row and lines the seat with toilet paper first. Michelle hates weeing in public places so much she will only do it if it is an emergency. Michelle also says if she thinks she should go to the toilet before going to bed but can’t, all she has to do is turn on the tap and voila. 

The girls diverge when it comes to direction of wiping. Georgina and Allison wipe from front to back, whilst Katrina and Fely wipe from back to front and Michelle kept her direction to herself. Georgina and Allison both said it was unhygenic to wipe back to front. Georgina says it avoids infection from the germs around her poo hole, and Allison recalls her Year 8 science teacher at Strathcona telling the young impressionable girls that they MUST wipe front to back to prevent strange substances travelling up passages where they do not belong and rendering them sterile. Fely, whilst admitting it is unhygenic still wipes back to front. 

So there you have it, an in depth study of the urinary techniques of 9 people drawn from around the world. The only conclusions that I can draw from this study is weeing is an individual and personal thing and everyone appears to do what is right for them, regardless of health or other considerations. I will leave you with a couple of facts Allison told me: 

Traces of urine are frequently found in peanut bowls at cocktail bars due to a lack of post-toilet hand washing. 

Urine is considered to be a cure for excema, and soothes blisters. 

Happy urinating. Ó chrissy.1998.