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Don't call me twinkie, cupcake.
Gary Bowen, A talented Native American Author and humorist. Has a hilarious web page titled " You might be a twinkie if …" check it out at
http://www.netsgi.com/~fcowboy/twinkie.html
Then come back here for a W.A.S.P. Male veiwpoint :
Answers to the "Twinkie List" questions:
1. I do now, before reading the list I just called them Stupid.
2. Knew That
3.I don’t know any shamans, but I do believe that the first tribes of nomadic hunters on this continent came from Siberia across a pre-deluvian land bridge into what is now called Alaska. Following the herds of mammoth they were eradicating on the Asian continent.
4. I don't have an Indian spirit guide. I do receive guidance from the spirit of wren, but it does not speak English, Choctaw, Gaelic or any human language. The spirit of wren speaks directly to my heart.
5.I have a pair of fuzzy dice hanging from my mirror.
6. I drive a 69 Ford Galaxy.
7. I don't like apples; I prefer a candy bar.
8.My only dog is named Jasmine?
9.I have traced my genealogy back to an Irish pub. No princesses of any kind.
10. See above
11.I can't afford collector plates. Eat off of melamine from the Dollar Tree.
12. My folks just called them Saturday nights.
13. Sunday morning, or afternoon.
14.see 11
15 cat’s names: Nelix and Xena. Do I watch too much t.v?
16. Haven’t seen it, really any good car chases or explosions?
17.Who? Oh, I don’t watch the news, too depressing.
18. Huh?
19. Wouldn’t mind meeting one of those cool babes on the T-shirts!
20.Huh? Again
21. I rarely send greeting cards.
22.Phew!
23. See 21
24.dont want one, thanks anyway
25. See 1. Above
26.Dont want one but it might be cute on the T-shirt babe. (See 19).
27. Nope, but my brother- in- law and Jack Daniels did try to hairbrush a Harley eagle on his truck once.
28.is that a kick D-R-U-M or a snare D-R-U-M?
29 I thought that was "hoyah"
30. HOYAH!!!
31. I bought that shirt to piss off mom, and the fundamentalist that surround me.
32. I'd rather spend my money on a Calzone(folded pizza)
33.I would like to form a coalition to end all coalitions.
34. Must have been that calzone before bedtime.
35. I am interested in learning about most anything.
36.my bumper sticker says, "shit happens"
37.I wear sneakers, mostly duct tape.
38. See 1.
39. See 1 again
40.guilty, I don’t even know "Mikey's" real name.
41,42. In Temple, Ga.?
43.see 1 once again
44. I don’t own "Indian Jewelry".
45.or art objects.
46.see 1 still another time
47. And again
48.I have footprints, and my green eyed, blond wife has not one drop of native blood! (I think, her family tree is hard to trace. It doesn’t branch much, and when it does, it tends to fold back on it’s self).
49,50,51. See 1. One more time.
52-57 you should have 1. Memorized by now.
58. Do people get annoyed if they are late for an appointment with Dr. Kovorkian?
59. I don't have a fur coat, I am warm enough, and I think the skins look better on their original owners.
61-65 you know where to look
66.an incredibly accurate statement of the obvious.
67. That is debate, and I've been working on this more than 15 minutes in the hope we both might learn something.
68. The dominant culture of America began to seriously question itself in the fifties and 60's when we as children, spent all day in school being taught our "Glorious Heritage", and how perfect and shining our civilization was. Then we would come home to TV Images of death and destruction in Birmingham, and Saigon. The Bohemian movement of the 50's and the Hippie's of the 60's discarded the hypocrisy of this, unfortunately we threw out the baby with the bath water in the spiritual and morality area and we are now searching to replace that loss. Yes, we are exploring many possibilities sometimes wisely, sometime foolishly but as you have said your self "Whap! Don't you think that's slightly judgmental? And more than a little selfish? The hard, unpleasant parts are the most important parts! Anything worth doing requires effort on your part." I think that is what the core of Newage is, a quest for spirituality.
69-72 I'm sure you know the routine see 1.
73.Poverty is colorless
74-78see 72
79. Actually, I did. From the Chacote character, who I firmly believe is 100% as representative of native culture as Worf is of Klingon culture. My interest in Chacote led me to the writings of Hyemeyohsts Storm (real I believe) and Kenneth Meadows (PLASTIC!).
80-83 see74-78
84.see 6.
85.I just use old newspapers, anything to keep out the cold.
86,87,88. Uhuh. Told you. Poverty is colorless
89,90. n/a
91,92. Fried cornbread, right?
93. I wouldn't mind a Druid Chief. Should the Suzuki Samurai offend the Japanese? They make it for crissakes
94. Some do
95-109 "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain"
110,111. Been there, done that
112. See 95
113. Who?
112-124 sees 95
I hope Gary can take it as well as he dishes it out J
