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Not everyone is called by God to be married Jesus said. Mat 19:12. St Paul also encourages people to be single if they can. But for many people they have real trouble remaining single and fulfilled, although some people can. This reflects the fact that we are made in the image of God, who is love, and more than that is a community of Love, in the Trinity. God is not isolated on his own, and we often feel the same need to be in a community of love. Marriage is that basic community.
Throughout the scriptures marriage is spoken of as a mystery, its institution and meaning that God has given to it, its origin and its end, its various realisations throughout the history of salvation.
The grace of God given in marriage is to perfect the gift of love and strengthen their life in love together. Perfecting each other's holiness and educating and encouraging any gift of children. The sacrament of marriage is a sign to us of Christ's love for the world and the church in particular. The sacrament gives the spouses the grace to love each other with the love with which Christ has loved us, and so perfects human love. When we give ourselves to each other in marriage we give of our total self. Your very self is affronted. As Scripture says the 'two become one'.
So marriage is a gift from God to maintain our uniqueness as God's children, that we may love another and be companions on the road of life. So the sexual act is not just a physical release value, it is a uniting of one person to another, a pinnacle of the love that is shared between husband and wife. Having the balance God has given to us that with love comes an appropriate degree of commitment.
So what does the church tell us about divorce? Firstly let us look at the Bible. The Old Testament allows a fair ease of movement in marriage. Deu 24:1. But Jesus' teaching is recorded as being different. Mark 10:11-12. Whereas Matthew says Matt 19: 8-9 He said to them, "It was because you were so hard-hearted that Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery."
These are the two reports of Jesus on the question of divorce. So what does the church say. Firstly that marriage should be for life, notice for instance the church does not say eternity. But also the church to enforce this has been reluctant to follow the compassionate way of St Matthew's Gospel. In Australia it is permissible with the Bishops permission. So we can welcome people to marriage after a failure in their previous marriage. And this seems right to me. As Jesus spoke of forgiveness and reconciliation, a second chance.
So the reason marriage is for life is both practical and spiritual, we all need security in love and our personal life. There is risk in being damaged but the joy and promise of life in all its fulness that may be helped by marriage is worth the effort to be a part of God's blessing of life with another. Marriage is a sacrament as it tells us of the great love God has for us, as we witness this through those married in the Church.
