George Lahey's Inglish   Gettysburg Address. . www.raenbo.com/3level/twain.lincoln.htm
 
 
"Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help."  On a poster at Kencom 
 
The Excesses of the English Alphabet
The following table lists the Inglish and English symbol sets on the basis of their speech representations. The surfeit of English symbols, and the ambiguities and redundancies among them, are clearly illustrated. Is it any wonder that one third of the adult population can't handle English spellings? Don't you wonder sometimes how we manage it? -John Reilly

This table lists only a few of the alternate or optional spellings found in the traditional English writing system.  The average is 14 spellings per sound.

 
 
IPA  CCS ING  ENGLISH  IPA  CCS ING  ENG 
' (a'but, co'ma') a' a a, e, i, o, u ng (ring) 3 ng ng, nk
ae (at)(are?) a. aa a.9, a-e, ai >  (odd) o. o o.9, a.5
ei (ape) e ae a.4, a-e, ai, ay, eh, ei, ey ou (oat) o' oe eau, o, oa, oe, oh, ou, ow
au (out) au ow o.4, a.2, au.2, aw.1 c  (ago) a' . .
e (air) er ai a.3, ae.2, ai.2, ey,  oi (oil) oi oi oi, oy
>: (awe) o au o.4, a.2, au.2, aw.1 u' (put) u. a' oo oo, u. oul 27 more
b b b b, bb, bh u: (ooze) u ou ew, oo, ou, ue
c c c c, cc, ch, k, q p p p p, pp
c c, ch ch c, ch r r, 'r r r, rr
d   d d, dd, dh, ld s s s c, ps, s, ss
e (edje) e. e e S 5 sh sh
i: (eat) i ea ea t t t d, dt, t, tt
i i, e: ee e, ea, ee, ei, y ð x, th th th
f f f f, ff, gh, ph u (up) u., a' u u
g g g g, gg, gh iu (you) iu, yu ue (you) eu, ew, ewe, u, ue, you
h h h h u' (full) 
[see oo]
u uu oo, u. oul 
27 more
i i. i i v v v f, v
ai (ice, eye) 'y ie ai, i, ei, ie, uy, y w w w w, wh
j j j g, j y y y y
l l l l, ll z z z s, z
m m m m, mm 3 2 zh s
n n n gn, mn, n, nn . . . .
  
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(Bernard S) It is my studied opinion that the problem with English orthography is _not_ the English language but the alphabet we use. To put it bluntly (as I am wont to do), it sucks. It is irrational in the sense of being unplanned. There is little rhyme or reason to it. The order of letters makes no sense. The letters often don't represent the sounds that we insist that they make, and there aren't enough of them. My suggestion is to chuck the alphabet and start over. Don't say "but no one will use it". Is the world beating a path to CutSpel's door?

The 23rd Saalm (sqm)

The Lord iz mie sheperd, I shel not waant; hee maecs mee lie down in green paascherz. Hee leedz mee beesied stil waaterz; hee restorz mie soel. Hee leedz mee in paathz ov riechusnes for hiz naemz saec.

Th Lord i.s my sheprd, I shal not want; he me'ks mi ly daun i.n gri'n pastiurz. Hi li,dz mi bisyd sti.l wotrz; he ristorz mi so'l. Hi li'dz mi in pa.thz u.v rychusn's for hi.z ne'mz se'k.

Even thoe I wauc throu the vaalee ov the shaadoe ov deth, I fear noe eevil; for thow aart with mee; thie rod aand thie staaf, thae cumfert mee.

I:v'n tho `I wo:k thru: th vali: uv th shado' uv deth, `I fir no eevil; for thau art with mi; thy rod and thy staf, thei cumfort mi:.

Thow preepairest a taebuul beefor mee in the prezens ov mie enemeez; thow anointest mie hed with oil, mie cup oeverfloez. Shorlee goodnes aand mersee shaal foloe mee aul the daez ov mie lief aand I shel dwel in the hows ov the Lord for ever.

Thau priperist a' teibl bifor mi in th prezens uv mi enimi:z; thau anointest my hed with oil, my cup overflo'z. Sh'rli gu'dnes and mersi: shal fa:lo' me o:l th deiz uv my lyf and I shal dwel in th haus uv th Lord for evr.

[Frum the Reeviezd Staanderd Verzhun, Zondervaan Biebuul Publisherz, Graand Raapidz, Mishigen,] Not very compact.

Frum th' Rivaizd Standrd Verzhn, Zondervaan Bybl Publisherz, Grand Rapidz, Mishig'n

 
 
 Shakespear in ThreeNotations 
Nu Folik 
Tu: bi: or not tu: bi:  
Th'at iz th kwesch'n  
`Wethr tiz no'blr in th' mynd tu: sufr  
Th' slings 'n aro'z 
uv autreij's fortiu'n  
Or tu: teik armz agenst a si: uv trublz  
And by opo'zing end th'em. 
Inglish 
Tue bee or not too bee 
Dhat iz th kwesch'n 
Wethr 'tiz noeblr in dh miend too sufr 
Th slings and aeroez 
ov outreij's forchue'n 
Or too taek armz agenst a see ov trublz 
And bie oepoesng end dhem
Chekt Speling
Tu bi or not tu bi  
Xa.t  i.z  x  kwesch'n  
Wethr ti.z no'blr i.n x m'ynd tu su'fr  
X slings 'n aro'z 
u'v autreij's fortiu'n  
Or tu teik armz agenst a si u'v tru'blz  
And b'y opo'zing end xem. 
  
 
 
 
 
FuZE-OPAK ORtOGRaFiC'L VizuNZ (ANJeL) 
heR WoZ a PXR BQ HX KxDNT SPeL  
HaF hu W'RDZ iN CR LagGWeJ TX WeL.  
HiZ TEc'RZ toT "BRAN-SiK!"  
MuM aND DaD HOPT "DiSLeKSiK!"  
YeT hu cILD RasLE JERD "woT hu HeL!" 
(CS) FUZZY-OPAQE ORTHOGRAFICL VISIONS  
Ther was a poor boy hu cudnt spel  
Half th words in our languaj too wel  
His teachrs thot "Brain-sik!"  
Mum and Dad hoped "Dyslexic!"  
Yet th child rashly jeerd "Wat th hel!" 
in IPA-EuroSpel (aka New Follick) it becomes:  
FUZI-OPEIK ORTHOGRAFIC'L VIZH'NS  
Ther wuz a pu,r boi hu cu'dnt spel  
Haf th w'rdz in aur languij tu wel  
Hiz ti,chrs tho,t "Brein-sik!"  
Mum and Dad ho'pd "Disleksic!"  
Yet th child rashli jeerd "Wot th hel!"
in Monofon (unigraphic) it becomes:  
fuzE-OpAk OrDOgraficJL viZ'nz 
Der wuz a pWr bQ hU cJdnt spel  
Half Du w'rdz in Xr langUAj tU wel  
Hiz tECrs thot "Brein-sik!"  
Mum and Dad hOpd "Dislexic!"  
Yet Du Cild raSlE jERd "Wot Du hel!" 
 
back to the spelling link page   To the comparison page: Nue Spelling and Nu Folik

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Comments or problems? Contact Steve Bett sbett@mailcity.com