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twain-cadmus.html Lincoln - Gettysburg Address
Mark Twain on Speling Reform
Uncl Cadmus Atempts tu Reform Hieroglyphics
(Riten in OGD and Nue English Speling)
other notations Cadmus Cadmus3Riten in John Reilly's OGD Restored English spelling
The ferst tym I wa's in Egipt, a simplifyd speling epidemic had broaken out and the atmosfeer wa's electrica'l with feeling enjendered by the subject. This was for or fyv thouzand yeers a'go. The Simplifyers had rizen in revolt aginst the hyroglifics. Uncl Cadmus, hu wa's out of a job, had com tu Egipt and wa's trying tu introdoos the Fonician alfabet and get it adopted in playss of the hyroglifics. The Simplifyers wer fiu; the Opo'sition wer multitiudinus. Among the Simplifyers wer meny men of lerning and distinction, mainly literairy men and members of colej facultys; but all ranks and conditions of men and all grayds of intelect eriudition, and ignoranss wer reprezentented in the Oposition. [OGD]Uncl Cadmus began with an object leson, with chauk, on a cupl of blacbords. On wun of them he roat in hyroglifics: At this tym the King pozest of calvary 214,580 men and 22,631 horses for thair iuss; ov infantry 16,341 squadrons together with an emergensy reserv ov all arms, consisting of 84,954 men, 321 elefants, 37,264 transportation carts, and 28,954 camels and dromedairys. It fild the bord and cost him 26 minits of tym and laybor. Then he repeeted in on anuther blacbord in Italian script and Arabic noomerals and did it in tu minits and a quarter. Then he sed: "My argiument is before u. Wun of the objections tu the hyroglifics is that it tayks the brytest piupil nyn yeers tu get the forms and thayr meenings by hart; it tayks the avera'j piupil 16 yeers to tayks the rest of the naytion all thayr days tu acomplish it--it is a lyf sentens. This cost of tym is tu expensiv. It cuud be employd mor iusfuly in uther industrees, and with beter rezults. If u wil renounss the hyroglifics and adopt riten werds insted, a tremendus advantej wil be gaynd. By u? No, not by u. U hav spent yuur lyvs in mastering the hyroglifics, and tu u thay ar simpl, and the efect pleszant tu the iy and eeven biutiful. But I apeal tu u in behaf of the jeneraytions which ar tu folo. Let yoor (iur) suns and dauters adopt the riten werds and the alfabet and thus sayv milyons of years of iussles tym and laybor tu fifty jeneraytions of posterity that ar tu folo u.
Uncl Cadmus sat doun, and the Oposition roas and combated his reazonings in the iuzhiual way. Thoas peepl sed that thay had allways bin iusd tu the hyroglifics; that the hyroglifics had deer and saycred a'soashiations for them; that thay luvd tu sit on a bairel under an umbrela in the briliant sun of Egipt and spel out the ouls and eegls and aligayters and sawteeth, and tayk an our and a haf tu the Lord's Prair, and weep with roamantic emoation at the thaut that thay had at moast, but ait or ten yeers between themselvs and the grayv for the enjoyment of this extasy. [OGD]
Twain's story is about the attachment that people have to cultural traditions and parallel's the attachment that English speakers have with historic spelling. It simply doesn't matter that a simpler code is readily available. In making his point, Twain bends the facts and distorts history. The Semites had no better way of dealing with numbers than the Egyptians during the time of the legendary Cadmus. Hieroglyphics are difficult to draw but are easier to read than Hebrew. To deal with the difficulty, the Egyptian's invented shorthands or rapid-writing version of hieroglyphics [hieratic and demotic]. The Egyptian's had a phono-graphic script that they could use for foreign place names and the names of famous people.OGD (Old Grand Dad), as illustrated above, is an attempt to restore English spelling to the consistent form it had before the Norman invasion (1100 ad). It is a positional notation, sounds are not always represented the same way. Terminal vowel spellings are different from the spelling of the same sound before a consonant [e.g., mye iy in the myty sky]. OGD does away with the silent e [as in LIVE / OGD: liv and lyv]. However, OGD does not do away with the principle of associating the e with the shwa sound as was done in Old English where TIME was pronounced [TIM-uh]. [e.g., barren (bairen) and barrel (bairel) are pronounced BAIR-uhn and BAIR-uhl].
The next passage is written in another proposed reformed spelling called New English Spelling.
Riten in Nue English Speling
Th furst tiem I wuz in Egypt a simplified speling epidemic had broeken out and th atmosfeer wuz electrical with feeling enjenderd bi th subject. This wuz for or fiev thouzand yeerz ago. Th Simplifieerz had rizen in revolt agenst th hieroglifics. An uncl of Cadmus hoo wuz out of a job hud cum to Egypt and wuz trieing to introdoos th Phonecian alfabet and get it adopted in plaes of th hieroglifics. Th Simplifieerz wer fue; th Opozisihun wer multituedinus. Amung th Simplifieerz wer meny men of lurning and distinkshun, maenly litererry men and memberz of colej facultyz; but aul ranks and condishunz of men and aul graedz of intelect, erruedishun, and ignorans wer reprezented in th Opozishun. [NES]Uncl Cadmus began with an object leson, with chauk, on a cupl of blakbordz. On wun of them he roet in hieroglifics: At this tiem th King pozest of calvalry 214,580 men and 222,631 horsez for thair ues; of infantry 16,341 sqadronz together with an emurjensy rezurv of aul armz, consisting of 84,954 men, 321 elefants, 37,264 transportaeshun carts, and 28,954 camelz and dromederryz. It fild th bord and cost him twenty-six minits of tiem and laebor. Then he repeeted in on anuther blakbord in Italian script and Arabic noomeralz and did it in too minits and a qorter. Then he sed: "Mi arguement iz befor U. Wun of th objecshunz to th hieroglifics iz that it taeks th briestest puepil nien yeerz to get th formz and thair meeningz bi hart; it taeks th averj puepil sixteen yeerz it taeks th rest of th naeshun aul thair daez to acomplish it--it iz a lief sentens. This cost of tiem iz much too ezpensiv. It cuud be emploid mor uesfuly in uther industryz, and with beter rezults. If U wil renouns th hieroglifics and adopt riten wurdz insted, a tremendus advantej wil be gaend. Bi U? No, not bi U. U hav spent yuur lievz in mastering th hieroglifics, and to U thae ar simpl, and th efect plezant to th ie, and eeven buetiful, But I apeel to U in behaf of th jeneraeshunz which ar to folo. Let yuur sunz and dauterz adopt th riten wurdz and th alfabet, and thus saev millyonz of yeerz of uesles tiem and laebor to fifty jeneraeshuns of posterrity that ar to folo U."
Uncl Cadmus sat down, and th Opozishun roez and combated hiz reezoningz in th uezhooal wae. Thoez peepl sed that thae had aulwaez bin uezd to th hieroglifics; that th hieroglifics had deer and saecred asoeshyaseshunz for them; that thae luvd to sit on a barrel under an umbrela in th brillyant sun of Egypt and spel out th oulz and eeglz and aligaetorz and sawteeth, and taek an our and a haf to th Lord'z Prair, and weep with roemantic emoeshun at th thaut that thae had, at moest, but aet or ten yeerz between themselvz and th greav for th enjoiment of this extasy.
Twain on Staged Spelling Reform Spelling Fun
Twain on the Simplified Alphabet
Lincoln's Gettysburg Adress
Riten in Nue English SpellingLINCOLN'SGETTYSBURG ADRES
Forscor and seven yeerz ago our faatherz braut forth on this continent a nue naeshun, conseevd in liberty, and dedicaeted to th propozishun that aul men ar created eeqal.
Now we ar enngaejd in a graet sivil wor, testing whether that naeshun, or eny naeshun so conseevd and so didicaeted, can long enduur. We ar met on a graet batlfeeld of that wor. We hav cum to didicaet a porshun of that feeld az a fienal resting-plaes for thoez hoo heer gaev thair lievz that that naeshun miet liv. It iz aultogether fiting and proper that we shuud do this.
But in a larjer sens we canot dedicaet--we canot consecraet--we canot halo--this ground. Th braev men, living and ded, hoo strugld heer, hav consecraeted it far beyond our puur power to ad or to detract. Th wurld wil litl noet nor long remember whut we sae heer, but it can never forget whut thae did heer. It iz or us, th living, rather, to be dedicaeted heer to th unfinisht wurk which thae hoo faut heer hav thus far so noebly advanst. It iz rather for us to be heer dedicaeted to th graet task remaening befor us-- that frum theez onord ded we taek increest devoeshun to that cauz for which thae gaev th last fuul mezher of devoeshun; that we heer hiely rezolv that theez ded shal not hav died in vaen; that this naeshun, under God, shal hav a nue burth of freedom; and that that government of th peepl, by th peepl, for th peepl, shal not perrish frum th urth.
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